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Chieftain Press

The Dress is Blue and Black, don’t be Stupid

Brittany Cormier, Editor

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This is the most exciting thing to happen all year. First the left shark, now this cantankerous dress. Hard to believe it’s only February.

And it’s definitely blue and black, there’s no real debating that.

“Adobe is never wrong.”

 

Overnight this darned dress has blurred the lines between the internet and real life and stirred a worldwide debate. Blue and black? Or white and gold? The dress is indeed blue and black, but many people have mysteriously contested that no, it’s white and gold. Quite aggressively, I might add.

According to science, some people see the dress as white because of our rods and cones and something called “additive mixing”.

Someone on Tumblr actually described this phenomena better than I ever could:

“As for the black bit (which I see as gold), it’s called additive mixing. Blue, green and red are the main colors for additive mixing. This is where it gets really tricky. Subtractive mixing, such as with paint, means the more colors you add the murkier it gets until its black. ADDITIVE mixing, when you add the three colors the eyes see best, red, green and blue, (not to be confused with primary colors red, blue and yellow) it makes pure white.

-Blue and Black: In conclusion, your retina’s cones are more high functioning, and this results in your eyes doing subtractive mixing.

-White and Gold: our eyes don’t work well in dim light so our retinas rods see white, and this makes them less light sensitive, causing additive mixing, (that of green and red), to make gold.”

There you have it. Your own eyes are betraying you. Scoop ’em out with a spoon, you don’t deserve that kind of disrespect, let alone from your own eyes.

Clearly this dress is an agent of Satan, sent from hell to separate the world into two factions, so that humanity will collapse and destroy itself. OR it’s one of those “haunted images” that seem to be the subject of so many bad creepy pastas. Whatever it is, it’s evil. And ugly as sin. I guess sometimes in life you just have to sit back and ask yourself, “What would Jesus say?”

It’s a shame all this dress business had to happen today. It’s the third anniversary of Tryavon Martin’s death. So it goes.

For posterity, we’ve added a poll for the like, fourteen people who regularly read articles here. Knock yourselves out.

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The Dress is Blue and Black, don’t be Stupid